Have you ever met someone in life and wondered to yourself, "OMG what the hell happened to them to make them as much of an empty shell as they are?" I think I have become that person.
So yesterday I get awoken (rudely) by the sound of my phone ringing for the 5th time in 20 minutes at 6:30AM. So of course I figured to myself, "well, it must be at least 'mildly' important," and I slowly spilled out of the bed to answer it.
I missed the call since it took me so long; rummaging through the crap on the coffee table trying to find it, and not to mention it was dark, but finally success!
I checked my Voicemail to find one of my mother's ever elloquent messages about how her car had broken.
"Honey I think something is wrong with my car, When I started it this morning, it started with a Rrr-Rrr-Rrrr-whump, and then died. And then when I started it up again, it started going "EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' and the cabin of the car filled with smoke. I hope it's your day off, call me."
Well now that I had such a fabulously descriptive account of 'Exactly' what the car was doing, I decided to make my diagnosis. My mother and her husband are idiots.
For what I believe to be about the last 5 years, my mother has been complaining about how her car's raadiator system has had a small leak, and how she has had to put water in it every couple of days because her light would come on. And well, finally after 5 years of only putting WATER in the resivoir, there was only water left. So after 2 days of no use, and 18 Degree weather, all of the water in her car decided to freeze. Hence 'no Starty' and the "EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee' of the, what she calls 'fan belt' (which doesn't really exist on her car)
So needles to say about $50 of parts, and my entire day off, mom is back on the road. And the scary part is that I got all of this out of her voicemail. God I know my mother well.
Ok, so maybe its because I'm gay, maybe its because I was raised with good manners......Wait, scratch that, .... Yea, its because I'm gay, because honestly, good breeding in no way suggests good toilet manners.
Ok, so for those of you who don't know, there are 3 Cardinal rules of the public Men's bathroom, as they apply to me. You 'Breeders' can fend for yourselves, but in light of many conversations with many gay men on this topic, we all seem to agree on the same three things.
They are:
1. Under no circumstances are you to willingly take the middle urinal, unless absolutely forced to.
Ok, as if peeing next to some one you don't know isn't uncomfortable enough in a corner, peeing in the middle of a row of stalls that would force you into a situation of "double-Jeopardy" is even that much worse. At least in the corner you have the option of leaning into the wall, and its not going to look at you weird like your coming on to it. And I don't know if its just me, but the idea of some one's pee splashing on my shoes is just appalling. There is however one example of a situation where this activity is acceptable; when you have to take the middle urinal in order to avoid actually peeing directly next to another strange man, and it keeps a buffer of at least ONE un-occupied urinal-stall on either side of you as a buffer. As the saying goes, when a urinals in sight, head left or right. In extreme situations, you may use the stall, but peeing in a toilet while standing in a public men's room is rarely dignified -- use this as a last resort.
2. Absolutely NO conversation is acceptable, or wanted while I am relieving myself at a urinal.
Alrighty 'gents,' by the time 'flow' has actually commenced, I have only one goal in mind--and its has nothing to do with the weather, or what fucking football team won the night before. My philosophy is, if you need to talk to me while were both peeing, A, your turning your head in my direction, and, B, I don't wan't the thought of your eyes wandering somewhere where they don't belong. Perhaps it makes straight men feel better about having their weiners in their hands right next to one another by breaking the ice with a nice "Macho" topic like 'Foot Ball.' (a game where grown men smack eachother willingly on the ass, and wear jock-straps under tights mind you--I digress)
3. NO MOANERS!!! Sounds of relief that can easily be equated to sexual pleasure are NOT acceptable.
OK, Come on! Seriously?! if you actually have to mutter a low growl sounding something like, "Ooooh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h Yeeeeaaaaaa, thats Gooooood, *sploosh sploosh"
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There isn't a dramatic enough pause in the world for this....
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....Ewwwwwwwww! What the fuck is wrong with you?!!
Has it been so long since you actually got a piece of ass that you have to make peeing in a public mens room a source of sexual pleasure; an action that conjures a whole minutia of sexuality questions, and makes you my personal office freak. Yes, I do pay attention to who is doing these things, and I take great pleasure in letting everyone know that your a "Moaner." So please, do yourself a favor, and get some action, and leave the moaning to the bedroom so the rest of us can relieve ourselves in peace--please!
I find it sad that we now live in a world where one can tell ones worth to another person by their position on the others "Myspace." Sadly yes, I was in the middle of all this high tech geeketry, just having recently ended my online war with my X. It was a bitter battle to the death here ladies and gentlemen; a battle where, not only were we slandering each other almost daily, but we were doing it in a public forum where everyone we knew could view it. I pictured the French and Saunder "Kill Bill" skit, with the blood being flung up against the smoked glass office windows. If you can picture that, you should have a good image of what it was like. Better yet, just watch the video.
Anyway, I guess the point of this whole thing is that I Deleted Tyler from my Myspace list yesterday, and I find it kind of sad that we cant even be friends anymore. Granted I'm still upset with him for him letting things go like they did, but I mentally cant take having to read his daily blogs, or his bulletins anymore about who hes going out on a date with, or how much of an ass he thinks I am, but then tells me other things to my face. Anyway, I'm DONE.
So my new hero's name is Sam Harris, Author of the small yet impactively huge essay, "Letter to a Christian Nation." A small little book in which he Puts the religious right in their place, and tells the evangelicals exactly where they can stuff it, in quiet polite prose--Beautiful! Nevertheless I thought I would post a passage that I found to be quite funny, just so I can glance back at it from time to time and have something to laugh about. It addresses, one of my favorite subjects, The Catholic Church, and their concern with the subject of "limbo" "Consider the recent deliberations of the Roman Catholic Church on the doctrine of limbo. Thirty top theologians from around the world recently met at the Vatican to discuss the question of what happens to babies who die without having undergone the sacred rite of baptism. Since the Middle Ages, Catholics have believed that such babies go to a state of limbo, where they enjoy what St.. Thomas Aquinas termed "natural Happiness" forever. This was in contrast to the opinion of St. Augustine, who believed that these unlucky infant souls would spend eternity in hell. Though limbo had no real foundation in scripture, and was never official Church doctrine, it has been a major part of the Catholic tradition for centuries. In 1995 pope Pius X appeared to fully enorse it: "Children who die without baptism go into limbo, where they do not enjoy God, but they do not suffer either." Now the great minds of the Church have convened to reconsider the matter. Can we even conceive of a project more intellectually forlorn than this? Just immagine what these deliberations must be like. Is there the slightest possibility that someone will present evidence indicating the eterenal fate of unbaptized children after death? How can any educated person think this anthing but a hillarious, terrifying, and unconscionable waste of time? When one considers the fact that this is the very instituition that has produced and sheltered an elite army of child-molesters, the whole enterprise begins to exude a truly diabolical aura of misspent human energy." (pg 65-66) Anyhow if you found this passage in anyway informational, or entertaining, I suggest you pick up a copy, its a quick little read that will keep you smirking with every page turn.
What is it with people? Maybe its just a misunderstanding on my part. I mean lets be honest here, I really dont like a lot of people. I tolerate people, and I can deal with them in many day to day social interactions, but outside of that, most of the time, I'm not honestly interested.
I've gone through life looking at different people and seeing them being broken down into approximately 3 categories.
1)Uber loosers; who have absolutely no friends rainbowdemire
2)Balanced people, who have a couple of close frineds, and some aquaintances. (volkswagoon I think)
3)Borderline Sociopath; People who know everyone, and consider everyone they meet a close personal friend. turbjoh
Now to me I have never been interested in knowing everyone, Granted I would like to know more people, but its just not something that seems feasable right now. It's one of those things that I'm learning as I go throughout life. That friends = effort, and perhaps its because I'm a selfish person, or perhaps its because I'm lazy, but more times than not, I really dont want to put fourth the energy into having and sustaining a relationship with someone new, or anyone for that matter. I guess I don't understand whats wrong, am I a horrible person who smells bad and no one wants to be around, or do I just not want to make phone calls all day? I mean really, when is it better to be alone than to continue trying to fake it?
Or maybe its just because I love pointing out everyones faults.....ces't la vi
So since I have nothing better to do than sit on my ass tonight and drink the nicely aged bottle of champagne thats been taking up space in my fridge, I thought that I would write for a little bit.
I have decided that im going to start celebrating my new-found "singleness" with a nice bottle of Bellatore, because nothing excites me more than the crisp POP of a champagne bottle's cork. It reminds me of happy occasions in my life: weddings, birthdays, etc. And its always so pretty in the glass; all the tiny bubbles floating up to the surface like a mineature little Jacuzi. Oh! and it tastes good too :D
I learned something yesterday, that I need to "live in the moment." I'm tired of trying to predict the future; trying to weigh out the possibilities of my actions. Its time for me to grow up, and just go with the flow. And I never understood what that meant before, when people would talk about it I would always think of it in the logical sense, "well if I dont pay my light bill, I guess I'll have no lights." But thats not what it means. What it means to me now, is that I've spent too much time worrying about what people think about me. I have spent much to much time thinking about what I say, and how it's going to effect how people view me, and OMG thats such an incredible amount of Bull shit!!
*Sips champagne*
I am who I am people, and like it or not, things are going to come out of my mouth that you're probably not goiong to like.... but its who I am, and you can choose to deal with it, or you can walk away. Its not like im proclaiming that im going to be a total bitch from here on out, thats not what im saying at all. What im saying is that I have decided that its time to be ME, and that the world can deal with every Snappy, bitchy, funny, dorky, stupid, intelligent, Geeky thing that comes out of my mouth, becuase why should I spend the rest of my life in a shell being embarassed about who I am?
So it is official. I have decided to sell my house. I know that in my heart I really dont want to, I absolutely love my home. But when I think about it, it's come to a point where it is necessary. I called my realtor today, and I'm trying to get the ball in motion.
I really dont know what im going to do when the time comes. I know that Scott and Kris have very graciously offered to let me stay at their place for a time, but I keep wondering what im going to do with myself when the time comes. I mean really this will be the first time that I will have been alone in about 3 years, and the thought of that scares me.
I remember having a conversation with seattlecouture about how I really need to find myself, and how I have spent so many years doing that stupid thing my mother does; defining myself through the people that I'm with, and that realization really bothered me. I really am looking forward to the opportunity of actually discovering myself again, but at the same time im deathly affraid of it. I mean really, I don't even know who I am anymore. I know that I used to be this bullet proof person, who didnt care about all the little stuff, because I knew who I was, but now I've lost touch with that part of me.
well heres to new adventures, and taking risks. I think thats what I need to focus on.
I'm sorry, but could someone please answer this question for me?
When you get dumped, does the "Dumper", or the "Dumpee" (The "dumpee" being me, who happens to hold the title to the house) have say so on whether or not the said "dumper's" mother gets to move in or not? ......Take your time, I know its mind splitting.
and further more, the "dumper" announced to me the other day, (a whole month after the split) that hes really interested in someone, and wants to "seriously pursue him"..... FUCK YOU!
First you come into my life, and fake being in love with me, so I'll be stupid enough to buy your car for you, and then you sucker me into buying a house so im stuck with you even longer?
I dont think I'm ever going to be able to trust anyone again. Seriously, fuck Everybody.
I began a long journey with you, my love, Walking down our path hand in hand. Our bodies embracing, our minds still racing; Blinded by thoughts of an elegant plan.
I can not do this, your speaking too hard. your strength of tongue silences me.
I try to speak out, but, really, what for? your twisted logic beguiles me.
Do you really want to know, what I think what I feel? The truth is simple; poignant, concise. you wouldn't understand if I'd spoke it to you. A "truthing" design of my own device.
I can not converge our differing views; they waved good bye at the fork in the bend. It was the beginning of our journey in love, sadly destined to meet at an end.
well, its been a while hasn't it?! but now that ive been off work for almost 10 days all is right with the world again, and I can finally update my poorly maintained L.J.
In the world of work, I have decided that I HATE!!!! my new boss. He is Obnoxious, he is severely unattractive: Teethe that look indicative of british dental work, and eyebrows that are unmatched by Charlton Heston are just a few of his foul features. I want to chase the man around with a pair of scissors, and a popsicle stick that's been dipped in hot wax!!! Seriously ladies and Gentlehomos, This man looks like hes fresh out of "Used Car Salesman Charm School" Complete with tie and cheap polyester suit.
But on a brighter note, The house is coming along swimmingly--well at least on the interior. I Have decided that "the HOMO-Depot" is now my new favorite store, right up there with toys-R-us. Actually to be truthful, now that I actually own a place of my own, I spend hours of the day daydreaming about what I can fix up next, or what I can repaint. So when I go to the HOMO, (and trust me I'm not the only one there,) I'm like a kid in a candy store.
So simply put, I need your input on the bathroom that I just got finished doing. and just so you know what I had to work with here is a picture of the bathroom that I bought, with white walls, and cheap laminate flooring
Now the updated bathroom with Beautiful wood flooring, and a rich luxurious two-toned paint on the walls makes me think of happy things like walking into a bamboo jungle. I have much in the way to do yet with finding artwork to hang on the walls, but this so far is the finished product.
Ahhh, I love home redecorating....it gives me an excuse to play with power tools and then drink myself silly. anyway, more updates to come.
I dont know why, but as of late I have just been completely a-funk with a foul attitude. to the point where I want to just completely decimate something as massive as the twin towers. (looks for security) I don't know what it is, work, life, love life, family, cats; or maybe a combination of the previous. Who knows maybe there is something else that im not thinking of.
Its irritating tho when every waking hour of you day you feel like you have enough explosive energy in you to blow up the world, and even though ive tried breathing techniques, and other relaxational remedies (Wine, wine, and .....More wine) I still cant get this clenching feeling out of my jaw.
I did get a little bit of frustration out of my system tonight, and at the same time I discovered why I really enjoy living in Tacoma. While out on my Jaunt this evening to get some Red Robin food for me and the boy, I encountered I believe what is colloquially known as a "hooptie." It was actually quite hysterical. I was sitting at the light, and I started to go when it turned green. Suddenly I hear this car next to me kick down into low gear and the engine begin to race. I laughed to myself as I see the car just barely begining to accelerate despite its seemingly overwhelming ammount of noisy, unbalanced, high reving effort. Long story short, I get to the next light and I look to my right and see this. and there he is, this guy, reving his engine to his discombobulated contraption, when it occured to me," wow this guy wants to race me. So in preparation, I turned off my traction controll, and air conditioning, (as if it was necessary)and gave lola a little rub on her love nub.
I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants as I pushed down the accelerator starting in 2nd and flew right past him. truly it was a real "knee Slapper," as the 'folks round here' would say.
Why is it that some people would rather choose to live a miserable life than to deal wiht the problems that they already know exist? I know memories are painful, I know that past experiences can really hurt the present. But WHY, can't people choose to deal with these things, instead of making those that love them suffer? And then when you try to bring it up, and try to help them, they accuse you of trying to hurt them. Is it more selfish on the part of the person who is bringing it up to try and help both parties, or is it more so on the person who flat out refuses to deal with the issue?
Ok, so I know everyone you will ever meet will tell you that I think too much. I can sit on an idea like im holding down a rabid crack addict for months at a time. And while the issue might be seemingly important, it has never stopped me from taking my time to think it over. I have never experienced this to be a bad thing until as of late, but I look at it this way: Im 24, I have a car that I love, and is paid for, I am financially independent from my family, I am not drowning in debt, and I kinda actually like my quirky "thinking" trait.
I recently Delved into the Real estate world, by looking for and innevitably making an offer on a home. Currently I'm running the numbers in my head, and I dont see it looking too wonderfully cheerie, and Sun shiny on the other side. And you can criticise me for being a Jew all you want, but the fact still stands that I'm worried if were going to make it. Im worried that finances are going to be the downfall of my relationship. Granted, I'm very excited to own a home, I really wonder how it all is going to end up 6 months from now when something goes WRONG. when something on the car breaks that I dont have the tools to fix, when some part of the house needs some emergency fix, ( it was built in 1914 for god sake) I Just worry......
Am I wrong for this? Where do I draw the line? Do I say, "I don't think I can do this? Or do I march into it head on, and face the brunt of whatever battles may ensue?...... I digress, I'm thinking again, and that prooves to be worrysome to most.
So kriostoir since I know your "Uber" into music, I was wondering if you would take on a little project with me, or rather review some lyrics that I wrote about a year ago. It was my intention to make a song out of it, but I never got around to it. let me know if you would be willing to check it out.
I Had to post a comment that I made to an ARTICLE that kriostoir Posted earlier. (please read)
I found it to be an interesting paradox while reading this News clipping. it goes something like this.
America, and all of its shining Ideals of "Freedom, liberty" and secularism, decided that Eastern culture needed a *change, and they needed to be Liberated, and Freed from "The Man." So America (and when I say america, I am in no way associating myself, or others that I know would say the same thing) stepped in and forced its will on the eastern society of the world; Enforcing our values, our ideals, and culture. Yet at the same time we find it despicable, and, in general, Wrong, that one of "them" would come over here and have some "Crazy ass Idea" about enforcing their beliefs on Western Society?!!?!?!???!!....
Someone please explain to me the Definition of Irony?
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